There is one thing in this ol' world I just hate about being adult! Yep, it really chaps my butt.
I'm having a grand time with life with hubby and being a lady of leisure, no one expecting me to comply with schedules, nor having children to feed and get off to school or taxiing them here or there. My time is my time! And life is good!
But then there is this citizen thing that you are required to adhere to; which just literally puts the ol' blood pressure at high gear and makes me wanna move to another country. Yep, you heard it...move to another country!
I know that America is the land of the free and home of the brave, and I'm beyond proud to be part of this great nation. Except for.........
RECEIVING A JUROR SUMMONS!!
A couple of days ago, after getting home from traipsing around town, having a nice day of doing my own thing, no worries, no cares, just having my own kinda fun-I pull up the driveway. Then, I get parked in the garage, walk out to the mail box and there it is!! Calling my name!! I see it in there -- right on top of all the other envelopes....staring at me. Begging me to pick it up with glee and shout--"I've been picked to appear in court and have the opportunity to be selected as a juror! Oh what joy!! I can't wait."
I even consider leaving it in the box. I consider accidently on purpose dropping it in the standing water from the rain storm. Thinking, could I possibly write on this envelope, "deceased" and sending it back? Maybe waiting 'til dark and walking down the street 5 or 6 houses and shove that nasty thing in the neighbor's mail box? Perhaps they're on vacation and won't get home for a month or two!! Ya, I could do that! Then, when they come to get me for contempt, not appearing before the panel judge and slapping the $1000 fine in my face, I can say "It musta been misdelivered! You know how the postal service is...I never got it!!"
Ya know, I think I'd much rather spend a night in jail because of not appearing for jury duty! I've been a juror at criminal trials. I've been summoned to jury duty more than a few times. And each time I try to think of ways of getting OUT!!
I hate it.
Now I've been living in Texas for a little over a year, moving from Arizona (where I was on juries), and in Colorado (ummmmm, yep, jury duty there too!!) But Texas? I don't yet know the rudiments nor what the court system is like in my county yet. Hell, they aren't giving me a chance to even get settled in as a resident before they begin drawing my name outta the hat!! What gives ya wonder? What's the matter with those guys next door? Did they get a summons? No....why me?
Hmmmmmmmmmm, no Hablas Español!! Ya, maybe that'll work. I could say I don't speak Spanish? That's a thought! Around here, you need to actually be bilingual. Ya wonder!? But at my trial they would have an interpreter. Sure 'nough. Dang. And besides, me being one of the blondest in the country, I'd be stupid enough to answer the lawyers question if I could speak Spanish, yep---I would answer it in Spanish without thinking. No comprendo! No entiendo. Dang, again!!!
But seriously, I'm sure there are people out there that consider it a privilege to serve the courts. Being an upstanding citizen and all. Not me.
Maybe I could grab a few groceries that my arms can carry, making sure of course I'm being videotaped at the corner convenience store-----even turn toward the camera so they get a full view of my darling face!! And deliberately get caught!! That would be considered a felony? Yes? Aha!! THEN I wouldn't have to serve! I could proudly mark that little ol' box with a checkmark and send it back with a huge raspberry to the court system and say 'take that!' you mangy scoundrels!! I don't have to serve....now LEAVE ME ALONE! But wait...second thought would be that grabbing groceries off the shelf and walking out would only be a misdemeanor. *CHIT*. I'd have to resort to robbery. Nah! I wouldn't go that far....only 'cause I wouldn't wanna be someone's bitch in the county jail. And knowing my hubby he wouldn't bail me out, 'cause he's one of those upstanding citizens who would be proud to serve as juror, doing his civic duty!! Good for him!!! Let HIM go in my place.
So.........
I tear at the perforations secretly hoping it would shred to bits with my touch- in error...
open the lousy thing and there before me I read:
GREETINGS: you are hereby notified to appear in the central jury room to serve as a juror!
I hear a voice now....it's telling me to build an ark! Hmmmm, it's gonna rain 40 days and 40 nights you say? Who is this really? Lord is that you?
To be continued....
* Ramblins of a middle-aged goddess * Unknown * * Melli * Tracy S * * Dawn * rena * Mitey Mite * Carmen * Judy * Pilot Mom *
13 Comments:
I've only been called for jury duty once--when I was 5 days away from the due date of baby #2. I called and asked them to re-schedule me for 6 months or so down the road, and they just cancelled it. I haven't heard back yet, and that was over 3 years ago. My dad, however, has been on so many juries it'll make your head spin! But he enjoys it, so I guess that's alright...
Well I know I hate that too..Here in Savannah there are murders all of the time and I dread being called here because of that. You just call in every day and pray that your number is high enough that you don't have to go in and actually serve!! Keep us updated on it..Sandy
MY TT is up...
I've personally never served jury duty. But I know so many people who have, and well, I know it sucks. simple as that. Definitely keep us updated!
O wow, I really hope you can find a way out of it!
And there really IS no justice in the world, because I do SO want to serve jury duty... and the only time I ever got a notice I was going to have moved before the date, so I couldn't do it. But I've lived where I'm at for 20 years now and have NEVER been called for it once! Life really is NOT fair!
I so dread that so badly... I am with you. I really do not want to serve on jury duty. Ugghhhh why don't they ask for people to come do it if they want. I would not be one of them..lol
wow, you're going to have served jury duty in 3 different states? Some people go there whole lives without being summoned. I served once before, I actually made it on a trial as an alternate, so I had to sit through the whole case and then was dismissed when It was time for deliberation, so I didn't even get to see what happened!!!!
My husband's been called several times. I never had until last year. I got out once because of a change in my life at that time that prevented it. But when the time was up again, I had to go in. I was not picked because the case was so emotional for me, because of a personal situation, that I was in tears and they were glad to see me go. I didn't even have to try to come up with a good excuse.
Bummer. I got called once, but told them it would pose a financial hardship and they released me. Pick a side during selection..that'll get you off. LOL.
Rena
I've been called for the panel several times, but only got on the jury once. Unless it's a high profile criminal trial, the 1st 12 panel members who aren't obviously biased to one side or the other, will make the jury. You just take a book or some needlework and pass the time as best you can. Since we are guaranteed a trial by a jury of our peers, I figure serving is just one of those responsibilities that goes along with our rights.
show up for the selection part and start developing a Rain Man tick or something. :)
I'm with Melli! I've ALWAYS wanted to serve on a jury... kept thinking of all the wonderful stories I could probably get out of it. Do I ever get called?? Nope, not even once. My son (who's a Marine and stationed in Hawaii... such a tough life!) got a call for jury duty while he was in boot camp! He'd only been a registered voter for 4 months!!! GRRRRRRRRR
I served once in Colorado when I was 21 and newly married. And never received another summons until last year here in UT. Now, I've lived in UT for 26 yrs and never received one until last year. Hubby has received 2 or 3 of them during all our years here.
Actually, I find it interesting and wouldn't mind being chosen. I wasn't able to do it last year because of taking care of my elderly mother who lives with us.
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